Pre-Planning Funeral Arrangements

To start your pre-planning funeral arrangements now click here.

We also offer conferences with no cost or obligation to you. To learn more about pre-planning funeral arrangements at Bartolomeo & Perotto, email us at info@bartolomeo.com or call 585-720-6000.

Put Your Mind At Ease

People often ask the question, "Why would I pre-plan my funeral?" Others avoid the topic altogether, since speaking of death can be difficult. However, funeral and burial arrangements are an important consideration and should be discussed openly and frankly.

Thorough and careful pre-planning gives you enhanced peace of mind knowing there will be adequate funds to cover funeral expenses and that your wishes, beliefs, and preferences will be met. In addition, pre-planning is very helpful for surviving family and friends since it eliminates the added stress of indecision and uncertainty when death occurs.

Pre-Planning

You can be as simple or detailed as you choose to be when making pre-planned funeral decisions. Whenever possible we encourage you to make as many decisions in advance. Once the death occurs, those who have thoroughly considered all of the choices prior to the death occurring will find the process to be easier.

Although most people are not comfortable focusing on what will happen at the end of life, preplanning your funeral is as important as preparing for any other important event in life.

Important reasons to preplan your service:

Financial concerns: Many decisions about services and purchases may have to be made during a time of intense emotional stress. Making these decisions ahead of time allows for more careful consideration of all the options in choosing the funeral that is right for you and your family.
Emotional concerns: Some people want to ease the stress that their loved ones are likely to experience during the time of planning a funeral. Making your wishes known in advance will reduce the number of decisions that your loved ones will have to make and may help make this time of loss less stressful.
Personal wishes: If you have ideas and personal preferences about what you want your funeral or memorial service to be like, you can take steps now to define your wishes and leave instructions for arrangements of the services.

Starting the Preplanning Process

As you start the preplanning process, consider the options and write down your preferences. Keep in mind that you do not have to think about everything all at once, and you do not have to cover every detail. However, if you realize that some aspect of the service is important to you, write that thought down. Then, make certain that when you have your conference with one of our Funeral Directors that you make him/her aware of your request.

The following steps can be taken to start the preplanning process:

1. Make a decision about the kind of funeral you wish to have. Think about what type of funeral you wish to have, how many people you would like to include, whether you want the service to be formal or informal. Keep in mind that there are no strict rules about arranging these types of services.

2. Consider the costs. Funeral and memorial service expenses can vary greatly depending on specific service choices. You can help define how much the service should cost through your own research, cost comparisons and the information you leave for family and friends about your preferences. Some people choose to prepay their own funeral and burial expenses.

3. Select a person to oversee your funeral or memorial service. Choose a trusted friend or family member to take responsibility for following your instructions for your funeral.

4. Decide what arrangements you want to be made for the physical remains. Consider the different ways to arrange for the disposal of the remains, including burial, cremation, scattering or keeping the cremains at home. Be sure to talk to your loved ones about your decision.

Funeral and Memorial Service Preplanning Terminology

Casket or coffin is a box in which a body is buried or cremated.

Direct cremation is completed shortly after death without embalming, viewing or any formal services.

Direct burial happens shortly after death with no viewing, embalming or any formal services.

Embalming is a chemical process that is used to temporarily preserve, disinfect and aesthetically enhance the appearance of the deceased.

Entombment is burial in a building or structure.

Grave liner or outer container is a concrete enclosure that includes a base that the casket is lowered into and top that fits over the casket once the casket has been lowered into the base.

Interment is burial in ground,

Inurnment is the placing of cremated remains in an urn and placing them into a mausoleum or burying them in the ground.

Mausoleum is a building in which remains are entombed.

Niche the space provided in a mausoleum for the receipt of cremated remains.

Crypt the space provided for in a mausoleum for the receipt of casketed remains.

Funeral Service is a funeral service that can take place anywhere that has the body present.

Memorial Service is a service that can take place anywhere but does not have the body present.

Urn or container holds cremated remains. These are available in a variety of forms and materials including metal, wood, and ceramic.

Writing Down and Storing Preplanning Wishes

Be certain that the right people know where the funeral preplanning information is stored. Your will is not the best place to provide funeral preplanning information because the will is not likely to be read soon enough following your death. Storing this information in your safe deposit box is also not recommended because safe deposit boxes are typically sealed upon death, and the contents are then not accessible for a period of time.

In NYS you have the right to appoint an agent to control the disposition of your remains. This will ensure that your requested wishes are carried out in the manner you wish. Once an agent has been appointed the next of kin hierarchy already established in NYS is superseded by this document. The agent can be a family member, loved one or a close friend. We have the necessary knowledge and documentation to assist you, if the appointment of a agent is right for you.

If the funeral preplanning process seems too difficult to do alone, ask for help from a trusted family member, friend or professional. If even thinking about your own funeral service is too difficult or upsetting, the planning can be left to loved ones. In that case, sharing a copy of this document with them will help them understand the options and the types of decisions that will have to be made.

Funeral and Memorial Service Preplanning: Suggestions

The following steps will help you start the funeral or memorial service preplanning process:

1. Think about what kind of service you want:

Do you want a funeral or memorial service?

Do you want a service that is more "traditional," or one that reflects personal ideas or one that is a combination of the two?

2. Consider the costs:

How much do you believe is appropriate to spend?
How much money do you or your family have available to spend?

To start the preplanning process, think about what you want included, or not included, in your funeral or memorial service.

Ask yourself questions, such as:

Is there a preference for a simple or elaborate service?
Will this be a public or private service?
Will the service be faith-based?
Where will the service be held?
Will there be a viewing or visitation?
Will there be a casket?
Will there be flowers?
Who should be notified and any necessary contact information for those people.
Names of people you want to be pallbearers, if any.
Whether you want to be buried, cremated or any other preference.
Any faith-based elements you want included in the service or burial.
Who you want to handle the service or arrangements.
Names of potential speakers and who you want to give the eulogy.
If there will be a casket, and preference for open or closed.
Clothing choices, jewelry and any special items that you would like to have displayed.
Special music, readings, flower preferences.
Where donations should be directed.
Any special messages or memories that you would want shared.
Any other specific arrangements for guests.
Information for obituary notes, including photo and places to be published.

If you are in the process of selecting a burial site, consider the following questions:

Will this site fit your faith-based beliefs?
Is there an important family tradition related to the burial site?
Is the burial site convenient for visits by your loved ones?
Are there plots nearby for purchase by your loved ones?
What are the charges for opening and closing a grave?
What is the charge for upkeep ("perpetual care") of the site?
Are containers or vaults required?
If containers are required, what type is needed and what is the cost?
Are the visitation hours convenient for loved ones?
What type of burial site marker (size, style, material and supplier) is allowed?
What types of plantings and flowers are allowed?
Are there any policies about seasonal decorations?

Find out if you qualify for any burial benefits by checking all federal and state government programs for which you qualify, as well as each organization to which you belong.